New Detectives in Town
by spacecowqueen
Summary: Koenma assigns two new spirit detectives to the team and things get kind of crazy for the guys. Contains a few spoilers.
1. Wheeeeeee!

Hello everyone! This is my (bad) attempt at a humor fic/ romance, so please bare with me…Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho or anything else that might show up in here, except Sakura and Mint. Enjoy! (or at least pretend you do to make me happy )

Summary- Koenma assigns two new spirit detectives to the team and things get kinda crazy for the guys.

Chapter 1

"C'mon, Mint!" a girl with shoulder length black hair called back to her companion.

"But I'm tired!" Mint whined, her large cat ears drooping. "We've been walking for days, Sakura."

"Pacifier junkie doesn't have any patience, remember? So we have to get there as soon as we can." Sakura growled.

'He better have a darn good reason for summoning us like this!' she thought bitterly.

Spirit World

The Almighty Toddler sat behind his desk, twiddling his thumbs nervously.

"What's that supposed to mean?!" Yusuke screamed. Koenma had just told them about the new additions he put on the team. And Yusuke wasn't pleased.

"All it means is that you guys need help." Koenma stated calmly.

"We don't need help. Not with me, Kazuma Kuwabara around!" Kuwabara declared loudly.

"You're exactly why we might need help." Hiei said coldly from the corner of the room.

"Shut up, you!" Kuwabara shouted.

"I'd like to see you try to make me." Hiei challenged with that (adorable!) smirk of his.

"Now, now you too…" Kurama said, once again assuming the role of peacemaker. Hiei continued to smirk and began reaching for his katana.

"He asked for it. Get out of the way, fox." He said. Suddenly, he fell forward with a TWACK. Botan stood over him, wielding her oar.

"Behave." She said dangerously.

"You little, ugh!" Hiei managed to say before Botan stomped on his back.

"They're here, Koenma." She announced before leaving the room.

" 'bout time." Yusuke muttered. Kurama elbowed him as two girls walked into the room (I bet you can't guess who they are!).

"Say hello to your new teammates, Sakura and Mint." Koenma said. Yusuke and Kuwabara's eyes popped out of their heads.

"You're putting us with girls?!" they yelled in disbelief at the same time. Sakura crossed her arms over her chest.

"What's wrong with us?" she asked.

"You're…girls!" Yusuke said.

"Just what is that supposed to mean?!" she demanded.

"Help!" they heard a strangled voice cry. They all turned to Hiei, who was still on the floor with a chibi Mint hopping up and down on his back.

"Heehee, it's a gothic leprechaun!" she squealed. The boys burst into laughter. Sakura reached into her bag. She pulled out a ball of orange yarn and rolled it across the floor. Mint immediately paused and then pounced on it.

"Now, where were we?" Sakura asked Yusuke.

"You two can fight later. We have more important matters to discuss." Koenma said, turning his large tv on. Everyone turned to watch embarrassing footage of the boys getting their butts kicked by a horde of demons. Sakura snorted.

"How pathetic." She sneered. Koenma pressed a button on his remote, and the channel changed to Sakura and Mint getting kicked out of a demon fortress they were supposed to be infiltrating.

"Ha!" Yusuke laughed.

"Oh, shut up!" Sakura yelled.

"ENOUGH!!!!" Koenma screamed.

"Don't have a temper tantrum." Kuwabara said. Koenma glared at him and pressed a button on his desk. A few seconds later, George ran in and dragged Kuwabara away for spankings.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean it! Be gentle…" he pleaded before the doors closed behind them.

"Ahem. It's obvious you all could use some more training. That's why I'm putting you guys together; so you can learn from each other." Koenma explained.

"That makes sense." Kurama said, after he had thought about it.

"Like hell it does! We won the (SPOILER!) Dark Tournament, remember? What could they possibly teach us?!" Yusuke demanded, pointing to Sakura and Mint on the last sentence.

"Considering the fact that we were beaten so badly by those demons, we have much to learn." Kurama stated.

"I hate it when you're right." Yusuke grumbled.

"Me too." Sakura agreed.

"I don't know about you fools, but I don't need any help." Hiei said confidently.

"Right. And that's why you got beat up by one of my ferry girls and a hyper cat-girl?" Koenma asked sarcastically. Hiei hmphed and turned away from the pint sized ruler.

"Exactly. Meeting dismissed!" Koenma said, pressing another button on his desk. The floor opened up beneath the spirit detectives and they fell through.

"Stupid toddler!!!" Yusuke screeched as he fell into the darkness. Koenma looked at Mint, who was tangled up in the yarn and off to the side avoiding the hole.

"Well?" he said expectantly. Mint tried to get up but fell back down, eventually choosing to roll into the hole to make it easier.

"Wheeeeee!!!"

Well, that's the end of chapter 1, thank goodness…I promise it will get better, but only if I have reviews to motivate me (wink wink, nudge nudge). So tell me what you guys think, please? (puppy dog face)


	2. The dreaded sporks

Woohoo! Chapter two baby! Thankies to LiLpSyChOsPaZ, who was the only one who reviewed…I feel so unloved! Enough of my babbling, so on with the fic!  
Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho…but I haven't given up yet!

Chapter 2

The spirit detectives landed in a heap in Ningenkai (Human World).

"Remind me to put itching powder in Koenma's diaper the next time we see him…" Yusuke growled.

"Only if I can hang him up by it when you're done." Sakura's muffled voice said. Mint, who landed perfectly on top of the heap, looked around.

"What? Where are you, Saki-chan?" She called.

"Down here. Hiei's foot is in my face. Eww, did you step in something?" Sakura asked the perturbed fire demon.

"No, so shut up." Hiei replied, crawling out of the pile.

"Ow! You kicked me!" Kurama complained.

"Deal with it." Hiei said coldly. Then he heard screaming from above and looked up, only to have Kuwabara fall on top of him.

"Thanks for breakin' my fall, shrimp." He said. Hiei threw him off of himself.

"Baka." He muttered. By now, everyone was out of the heap.

"How did the spankings go, Kuwabara?" Yusuke asked. Kuwabara suddenly latched onto Yusuke's leg and burst into tears.

"It was awful, Urameshi! They bruised my beautiful backside!" He wailed. Sakura kicked him.

"We don't wanna hear about your butt." She said. Mint jumped onto Sakura's shoulders.

"You said butt! You said butt!" She screamed.

"Get off, you shoulder monkey!" Sakura shouted, flailing around. Mint complied and jumped off, causing Sakura to lose her balance. She fell backwards, but was caught by Kurama before she hit the ground.

"You should be more careful." He said, smiling down at her. Sakura blushed and stood up.

"Thanks." She mumbled. (a/n do I sense a romance?)

"Wow, Saki-chan. Your face is an interesting shade of red!" Mint giggled, poking the side of Sakura's head.

"Shut up!" Sakura shouted.

"Now what?" Yusuke asked no one in particular.

"You heard Koenma. We have to 'learn from each other'." Kurama said.

"Yeah right. I get enough learning from school." Yusuke said.

"Um…they're gone." Kuwabara pointed out. The boys looked to the spot Sakura and Mint had previously been occupying, to find they were indeed gone.

"It seems our new friends don't fancy bonding with us." Yusuke said.

"I suppose you're right." Kurama sighed, putting his hands in his pockets.

"Darn. I was looking so forward to learning from them." Yusuke said sarcastically, sighing dramatically. So, he and the others, minus Hiei who flitted off somewhere, left the forest they were in.

(The next day at school)

"(Yawn) I'm here." Yusuke said, strolling into the classroom.

"Yusuke! Where were you yesterday?" Keiko asked.

"Huh? Oh, I was in Reikai (Spirit World)." Yusuke answered.

"What?! Again?! Are you going on some dangerous mission again?!!" Keiko screeched. The whole class paused and looked at Keiko with scared expressions.

"Um, calm down Keiko…I'm not going on any mission." Yusuke said. Keiko stopped rambling about how Yusuke was going to cause her to grow grey hair early and looked at him.

"Really?" She asked. The bell rang and everyone sat down.

"Good morning class. Today, two new delinquents- I mean students will be joining us. Joy…" Mr. Iwamoto said. Everyone turned to the doorway, expecting someone to come in. "…Will you two get in here!" He yelled.

"No need to get your panties in a bunch." Came a girl's voice. Two girls walked in, who Yusuke and Kuwabara immediately recognized. Keiko looked like she was going to faint because of their uniforms. Mint was wearing a lime green version of the girls' uniform with a large lime green hat perched on her head. Sakura was wearing a black version of the boys' uniform.

"What is the meaning of this?!" Mr. Iwamoto snapped.

"Meaning of what?" Sakura questioned indifferently.

"Your uniforms!" He said impatiently.

"Oh, is that all? Well, Mint's culture believes that lime green is a holy color and must always be worn. Large hats of the same color also have a ceremonial purpose." Sakura explained (cough lied cough).

"Fine. So what's your excuse, Miss Coolduras?" Mr. Iwamoto asked.

"The school requires a uniform. No one specified which uniform." She stated before taking her seat at the back. Mint smiled and sat next to her. The class laughed at Mr. Iwamoto, who was shaking with anger.

"Detention, Coolduras!" He shouted. Sakura shrugged indifferently. Yusuke tried to suppress a snicker, but Mr. Iwamoto heard him anyway. "You too, Urameshi." He snapped, turning to the chalkboard.

"Dammit…"

Yay! The end of chapter two! (throws confetti in the air) I promise things will start to pick up soon, but only if I get at least SOME reviews! Oh, by the way, this happens after the Sensui thing but before the demon lords thing. Anything else? Oh yeah! THE SPACECOWS SHALL TAKE OVER THE WORLD WITH SPORKS! Read & review!


	3. Mint needs to lay off the sugar

It's me again! Sorry for the randomness at the end of the last chapter. Anyway, I got two more reviews yesterday! Yippee! Nattie, chubby cheeks, this chapter is dedicated to you awesome guys!

Disclaimer: Think about it. If I owned it, would I be writing a FAN fiction about it?

Chapter 3

"So, what the heck are you two doing here anyway?" Yusuke asked after class was over. They were all gathered in the schoolyard outside.

"What else would we be doing in a school, silly!" Mint answered, playing with a shiny object she stole from someone. Sakura glanced at Keiko, whose eye was twitching as she stared at them.

"I think there's something wrong with your eye." Sakura stated.

"My eye is just FINE, thank you. I just have a problem with your uniform and Mint's!" Keiko replied hotly. Sakura cocked an eyebrow.

"Why do you care?" She asked.

"Because I'm-" Keiko started.

" 'The class representative and it makes me look bad when you don't abide by the dress code!'" Yusuke said, imitating Keiko (badly). "I've heard this speech a million times before, guys." He added, almost sounding proud. Keiko then smacked him on the back of the head.

"I don't sound like that!" She yelled.

"The heck you don't!" Yusuke yelled back. An argument broke out between them and they forgot about Mint, Sakura, and Kuwabara.

"Here we go again…" Kuwabara groaned. Sakura and Mint looked back and forth between the two of them as they threw insults at each other.

"Do they do this often?" Sakura questioned.

"No, just about once a day." Kuwabara answered sarcastically.

"Awww! It's because they love each other!" Mint squealed. Yusuke and Keiko abandoned their argument and chased Mint around the schoolyard.

"Yay! Tag, you're it!" Mint screamed as she slapped Kuwabara on the back. He then started choking on his sandwich while Mint, Yusuke, and Keiko continued playing "tag".

"Breathe man! Breathe!" Sakura yelled, hitting Kuwabara repeatedly on the back, trying to pop out the deadly sandwich (hehe…deadly sandwich). Some students stood by, looking at either the screaming green streak being chased by the peeved green streak and even more peeved blue streak, or the idiot choking on his lunch and the apparently gender confused girl hitting his back.

"Just when school couldn't get any freakier…" A boy sighed. Many people near him nodded their heads solemnly.

(After school)

They were walking home from school; everybody except Yusuke was laughing their heads off. (hey, weren't Sakura and Yusuke supposed to go to detention?…(shrug) oh well)

"It wasn't that funny!" Yusuke shouted indignantly.

"Yes…it was!" Kuwabara laughed. Yusuke growled and pounced on him, which of course started a fistfight.

"I still can't believe you pulled his pants down in front of the entire student body." Sakura said to her cat friend. Mint only grinned.

"Guys…" Keiko said to the wrestling boys, who ignored her. "Guys!" She said louder. Again she was ignored. "GUYS!!!" She screamed, finally gaining their attention by knocking them over with the loudness of her voice.

"WHAT?!" They screamed back.

"You're holding up traffic!" She pointed out. The boys looked around and lo and behold! Their fight had moved out into the road and several cars sat there, honking their horns at them. They got up and walked off the road, but not before Yusuke kicked a car and exchanged some unpleasant words with the driver.

"C'mon!" Keiko ordered, dragging the two boys by their ears.

"Yu-chan and Kuwa are in trouble!" Mint chanted, using the new nicknames she gave them.

"What on earth is going on here?" a familiar voice asked in amusement behind the group. They turned around to see…

"What's up Kurama? Ow…" Yusuke greeted, wincing.

"I take it you got in trouble again?" Kurama said, still amused.

"HI KITSUNE-KUN!!!" Mint screamed. (yep Kurama has a nickname too)

"Hello Mint," Kurama said, smiling. "And hello to you too, Sakura."

"Hi." Sakura said quietly, blushing ever so slightly.

"Mood swing." Yusuke muttered, earning a punch from Sakura.

"I wanna go home! I wanna say hi to Lester!" Mint shouted while jumping up and down.

"Alright, fine! Just quit jumping around or you're gonna hurt someone." Sakura said. Mint jumped onto Kuwabara's shoulders and sat there.

"You're no fun, Saki-chan!" She pouted.

"Deal with it, evil hyper green chica." Sakura growled, dragging Mint off of Kuwabara. (that sounds so wrong! . )

"Wahhhh! I'm telling Lester!" Mint sobbed.

"Who the heck is Lester?!" Yusuke asked.

"He's our friendy-wend that lives with us on our farm!" Mint chirped. "You guys wanna come?" She asked.

"I'd love to, but my parents need help with the restaurant. So I guess I'll see you guys tomorrow. Bye!" Keiko said, leaving.

"Do the rest of you have any excuses?" Sakura asked the boys.

"Nuh-uh."

"Nope."

"No."

"Okay then! Onward!" Mint cried, pointing in a random direction.

Chapter 3 done! BTW, chica is "girl" in Spanish and kitsune is "fox" in Japanese, just for the people that didn't know. Thing's get more interesting in the next chapter when I introduce my mascots! I bet you wanna know what happens next, right? Well leave me a nice review and maybe I'll let you know! …But I'd probably update anyway, even if I didn't get any reviews. Uh…you guys didn't hear that.


	4. Introductions and Embarrassment

Hello! Yes, I'm finally updating. (bows) Sorry for the reeeeeee(gasp)eeeeaaaally long wait. I'm sure you guys didn't come back just to hear me rant, so on with the show-er-fic! Oh, there's a spoiler near the beginning of the chapter, so beware.

Disclaimer- Nope. Still don't own it.

Chapter 4

Introductions and Embarrassment

"Wow, it's really nice out here." Kurama commented. They had left the city and were now walking through the countryside. Yusuke took a deep breath.

"No smog, either." He said.

"Of course not. This kind of area is perfect for raising space cows." Sakura said matter-of-factly. The boys immediately halted in their tracks.

"Um…I didn't hear ya right. Did you say space cows?" Kuwabara asked uncertainly.

"Get out of the way! Stampede!" They heard a male voice yell. They ran off the road, just as a herd of badly drawn cow-looking things ran by, with a white haired man sitting on the one in the lead. As the last of the herd ran by, they saw a rabbit/cat looking thing clinging to the tail of a cow. (If you've ever seen the Tenchi Muyo! series, then you probably know who that is.)

"What. The. Hell."

(At the farm a few minutes later)

"Lester, how'd they get out?" Sakura questioned, gesturing to the currently grazing space cows.

"Well, I, uh…fell asleep and…" Lester stuttered embarrassedly. Sakura groaned and slapped her hand to her forehead. (BTW, Lester doesn't belong to me either. He belongs to the people that created Galaxy Angel. Great anime.) "So, who're your friends?" He asked.

"This is Yu-chan, Kuwa, and Kitsune-kun!" Mint yelled. Sakura cleared her throat.

"Yusuke, Kuwabara, and Kurama." She said. Lester held his hand out so Yusuke could shake it.

"Name's Lester." He said. Yusuke smiled and shook Lester's hand.

"Nice to meet ya." He said.

"I didn't think I'd get to meet the guys who (SPOILER! BEWARE!) took down Toguro and Sensui." Lester added. Yusuke paused.

"You know about that?" He asked.

"Of course I do. I do live with two spirit detectives, after all." Lester answered. Suddenly, the rabbit/cat thing from before jumped onto Sakura's head and mewed cutely.

"Ryo-Ohki!" Mint squealed, grabbing the rabbit/cat.

"What is that thing?" Yusuke asked. Ryo-Ohki bit him, offended at being called a thing. "Ow!" He cried, rubbing his finger.

"Ryo-Ohki is my spirit beast. She looks half rabbit and half cat so we call her a 'cabbit'." Sakura explained, scratching Ryo-Ohki behind the ear. (Ryo-Ohki doesn't belong to me. She belongs to the people behind Tenchi Muyo!)

"You certainly have some odd animals on your farm." Kurama said, looking around.

"We have more that we got from Makai." Lester stated.

"Isn't that illegal?" Kurama questioned suspiciously. Lester looked away with shifty eyes.

"Maybe…" He said. Mint suddenly pushed Sakura forward.

"Saki-chan will give you a tour!" She said.

"As interesting as freaky cows are, I think I'll pass." Yusuke said.

"Me too." Kuwabara agreed.

"Well, I'd like to see this farm some more. I'd love a tour." Kurama said.

"Um, ok…" Sakura said, blushing a bit. (She does that a lot. Maybe she should get that checked out.)

"Saki-chan and Kitsune-kun are going on a date!" Mint screamed while jumping up and down. That, of course, resulted in another game of "tag". When Sakura almost caught up to Mint, Lester grabbed the back of her shirt.

"Calm down and get goin'." He said, shoving Sakura towards Kurama.

"Bakayaro!" Sakura screamed, being dragged away by Kurama before she could cause any harm.

"She has major mood swings." Kuwabara stated. A bucket flew through the door Kurama and Sakura left through and connected with his head.

(With Kurama and Sakura)

Sakura stomped ahead of Kurama, still fuming.

"Hmm…how should I kill them? Or maybe I can make them my slaves when I take over the world. Bwahahahaha…" She muttered.

"What are you mumbling about?" Kurama asked suddenly. Sakura jumped about ten feet into the air.

"Nothing!" She answered, smiling innocently.

"So, does all this belong to you guys?" Kurama questioned, trying to start a conversation.

"It really belongs to Lester, but he lets Mint and I live here since we don't have any parents." Sakura replied.

"Oh, I'm sorry." Kurama said, suddenly feeling sorry for her.

"Don't be. Neither of us really remembers our parents anyway." She smiled. But that didn't make Kurama feel any better. They stood in front of a lake, looking at the multi-colored fish.

"Let me guess: Reikai fish?" Kurama asked.

"Yep! Don't tell Koenma, though. Lester likes his 'exotic' livestock." Sakura joked. Kurama chuckled a bit. A stray space cow walked up to the lake and began drinking from it. Kurama just stared at it. "A few years ago, the space cows fell out of the sky and onto the farm. Lester thought they were cute and decided to breed them." Sakura explained. Kurama had a sudden mental image of Lester sitting out in the field, reading bedtime stories to the space cows and telling them how cute they were in a baby voice.

Sakura spun around quickly, about to say something, but tripped over her own feet. She started falling and Kurama grabbed her hand, getting dragged into the water as well.

"Sorry, Kurama…" She apologized after popping back up above the surface.

"No problem." He said, squeezing the water out of his hair.

"Moooo!" The space cow from before said-er-mooed.

"Shut up!" Sakura snapped, raising herself out of the lake.

"Mooo. (Translation: "Meanie.")" The space cow mooed again before leaving.

"Big baby." Sakura muttered.

"Woah!" Kurama cried, doing a weird dance.

"Um…what are you doing?" Sakura asked hesitantly.

"There's something in my pants!"

"Well, I certainly hope so…"

"I'm not talking about that! There's something in my pants that shouldn't be!" He said, squirming around. He reached into his pants. Sakura squeaked and turned away blushing. He pulled out……….a purple frog that had antennae. He threw it back into the lake. "You can turn around now." He said. Sakura was about to say something when she sneezed.

"Ugh…"

"Looks like you might be catching a cold." He said, putting his hand to her forehead. She just blushed again. (She REALLY needs to get that checked out!) "Why is your face red? It's not a fever, is it?" Kurama asked worriedly.

"Uh…yeah! I'm sick! (coughcough)" Sakura lied. (Nice save, girl!)

"Let's head back to the house, shall we?" Kurama suggested.

"Achoo! (sniff) Sure…"

So, they went back to the house.

So ends chapter 4. That last part was a bit boring, ne? Well, there'll be more action in the next chapter. I'm not saying it'll be great action, just to warn you. That's right, I'm gonna try my hand at writing a fight scene. Beware. Read & Review! And those nice people that leave me an equally nice review will get a cookie and a plushie of their choice! No, I'm not bribing. Of course not.


	5. Shootings and Gothic Leprachauns

Okay. Either my bribery didn't work or you guys didn't care enough to read the last chapter. But I'm posting the next chapter anyway. Booya. So, on with the chappie.

Disclaimer- If I owned it, Kurama and Hiei would be the main characters and Kuwabara would be their pet monkey.

Chapter 5

Shootouts and Gothic Leprechauns

"Why are you guys so wet?" Lester asked when Kurama and Sakura got back to the house, soaked to the bone. Sakura was about to answer when she sneezed.

"We fell into the lake." Kurama answered for her.

"Aww… Saki-chan has a cold!" Mint whined, trapping Sakura in a bear hug.

"Uh Mint, I think she needs to breathe…" Yusuke pointed out. Sakura's face had turned blue and she was clawing at the air.

"Air!" She choked out. Mint quickly let go and allowed her air deprived friend to breathe again. Sakura took three deep breaths and pounced on Mint, strangling her.

"Are you trying to kill me, you crazy neko!" She screamed. Mint said nothing and looked up at her with swirly anime eyes.

"Answer me, dammit! Achoo!" Sakura demanded/ sneezed. Kuwabara mindlessly chased a cat around in the background. (Kuwabara? Doing something mindless? Never.)

(The next day)

The next day they skipped school to train, dragging Kurama kicking and screaming the whole way.

"You guys are ruining my perfect attendance record!" He complained loudly, which was out of character for him.

"Calm down, Kurama. Sheesh…" Kuwabara said, who had Kurama slung over his shoulder to prevent him from running away. Kurama pouted childishly. After a little more walking, the group came to a clearing. Yusuke looked around.

"Where's Hiei? He said he'd be here by the time we got here." He wondered out loud. Then they heard snoring from the tree nearby.

"That tree's snoring!" Mint squealed, pointing at said tree. Everyone looked up into the tree's branches to see Hiei sleeping.

"Aww, he looks so cute!" Mint whispered.

"Pssht! As if…" Kuwabara muttered. Mint ran to the tree and shook it back and forth violently.

"Rise and shine!" She screamed. Hiei awoke with a startled cry and fell. He rubbed his head and sat up quickly, glaring daggers at Mint, who was unaffected.

"Good morning!" She chirped happily. We all know what happens next…

"Gothic leprechaun's it!" She screamed. All the others could see was a black streak behind a green streak.

"Should we do something?" Kuwabara asked.

"No way! This is too entertaining!" Yusuke laughed. Mint ran in front of them, with Hiei close behind. Sakura stuck her foot out just as Hiei whizzed by, tripping him. Kuwabara and Yusuke burst into laughter, while Kurama helped the fuming fire demon to his feet. As soon as he was standing, Hiei kicked Yusuke and Kuwabara in the shins, causing them to fall. But that only made them laugh harder.

"Um…Why don't we start training before Hiei kills them?" Kurama suggested with a huge sweat drop.

"Hn. Fine. As long as I get to kick their asses." Hiei stated, pointing at Kuwabara, Yusuke, Mint, and Sakura.

"Psst. Someone's hostile today." Sakura muttered.

"He's hostile everyday." Kuwabara muttered back. Yusuke picked himself up off the ground.

"Well what're we waiting for?" He asked.

"For you idiots to stop-mph!" Kurama clapped his hand over Hiei's mouth to effectively shut him up.

"Kuwabara, you fight Mint." Kurama said, yanking his hand away when Hiei bit it.

"Are you crazy or somethin'! You know I can't fight girls!" Kuwabara shouted.

"I wanna fight the gothic leprechaun! I wanna fight the gothic leprechaun!" Mint chanted, jumping up and down. Hiei's face lit up.

"Alright. I'm going to enjoy this." He said, smirking.

"Don't hurt her, Hiei." Kurama whispered to his violent friend. Hiei just grunted a "Hn.", and walked out to the middle of the clearing, where Mint was already doing her stretches.

"You ready to get hurt, girl?" Hiei sneered.

"Hmm…I wasn't really planning on getting hurt." Mint mused out loud. Hiei unsheathed his katana.

"Let's start." He said. Mint suddenly pulled out a metal pipe from who-knows-where and Hiei faltered.

"What the heck is that?" He asked.

"It's my weapon, silly!" Mint giggled.

"Fight!" Yusuke called.

"Kick his puny butt, Mint!" Sakura and Kuwabara cheered. Hiei charged at Mint and slashed at her downwards. Mint brought her pipe in front of herself to block it. It felt as though Mint's weapon was starting to give way to Hiei's strength, and he started to smirk. That is, until her pipe was surrounded with green energy and pushed Hiei back, breaking his sword in the process. When he had jumped away, he stared at her wide- eyed.

"How…" He started.

"I win!" She squealed.

"Not yet." Hiei growled, running towards Mint. She wasn't paying attention, and couldn't block the punch to her stomach fast enough. She staggered back a bit, but recovered quickly and hit Hiei swiftly over the head with her pipe. Hiei stood there for a second, before falling backwards, unconscious.

"Yay!" Mint screamed. Kuwabara was holding his slides while laughing uncontrollably.

"The midget got beaten by a girl!" He choked out between laughs.

"Of course!" Mint said, tapping Kuwabara on the head with her assault weapon. She ran over to Hiei and dragged him to the tree he was sleeping in earlier. She took out some rope (where does she get these things!) and tied Hiei to a branch so he was hanging upside down by his ankles.

"It's a piñata! Ole!" She cried, raising her pipe above her head. Sakura rushed forward and grabbed the pipe. Mint swung her .…air?

"The pipe went poofies!" She gasped in disbelief, staring at her empty hands.

"Well, who's fighting next?" Yusuke asked, bringing everyone back to the plot of this chapter (Is there a plot? Hmm…).

"I'll fight you." Sakura stated, after she hid the crazy kitty's pipe. Yusuke shrugged.

"Your funeral." He said. As he and Sakura walked out to the center of the clearing, he asked,

"Do you have a weapon?"

"You'll see." She said mysteriously.

"Ready? Set. …Gopher! Ha ha! You guys fell for it!" Kuwabara laughed loudly. Yusuke glared and threw a rock at him.

"Shut up, moron." He snapped. Kuwabara stuck his tongue out at him. Sakura held her hand out and a light formed the shape of a sword. Then the light turned into a solid object. It looked like a normal sword, except for at the hilt. It had the barrel and handle of a gun. (For those of you who have played Final Fantasy 8, you know what I'm talking about.)

"That's cool…Can I hold it?" Kuwabara asked.

"So you've got a fancy sword." Yusuke shrugged. He jumped when something exploded at his feet. Sakura removed her finger from the trigger and rested the sword on her shoulder.

"This is my gunblade." She said with a smirk. (Gunblades kick ass!)

"I bet my gun could beat yours." Yusuke challenged. He and Sakura exchanged grins and dived behind separate trees, occasionally ducking around to shoot at each other. Kuwabara jumped around, trying to avoid bullets that ricocheted off trees.

"Watch it!" He screeched. Hiei got barely grazed by one and the momentum caused him to spin around and around. Two stray bullets hit branches above Yusuke and Sakura's heads and fell on them, knocking them out.

"Well that was lame." Kuwabara stated. Kurama sighed and nodded.

"…Wanna go get somethin' to eat?" Kuwabara asked.

"Sounds good to me. Are you coming, Mint?" Kurama asked the kitty girl, who was drawing on Yusuke and Sakura's faces with a black marker.

"Yup yup!" She chirped.

"I have the feeling we're forgetting something…" Kurama commented as they walked away from the clearing.

"It's probably nothing." Kuwabara said. Back with Hiei, who had just woken up…

"GET ME DOWN YOU DIRTY BASTARDS!"

And that's the end of Chapter 5. Now, I don't ask much from you guys, right? So is reviewing, or reading for that matter, really so unreasonable to ask? R&R please.


	6. OMG SHE UPDATED!

Wow! Sorry for the really long wait. I just got really bored with writing this story, and it seemed like no one was really reading it. But I'll post the next few chapters. And if I don't get evidence that at least some people are reading this, I'll discontinue it. Don't leave it up to someone else to review it. By the way, this chapter includes Part 1 of the fangirls' wrath.

Disclaimer: Lemme think…. Nope. I still don't own it.

Chapter 6

Kurama Has a Weird Fascination with Plants

Kurama and Kuwabara finally remembered what they forgot (confusing?) and went back to the clearing to get their friends.

"Why did you attack me?" Kurama whined. He stood in front of the mirror in his room, looking at the hair Hiei hacked off. (Kurama fangirls: Not Kurama-sama's hair! #attack authoress# Spacecowqueen: AAH! #runs away#)

"Because you forgot about me." Hiei answered from the tree outside the window.

"But I didn't put you there!" Kurama said.

"You needed a haircut anyway." Hiei shrugged. (Kurama fangirls: No he didn't! Kurama-sama is perfect! Spacecowqueen: Go away. You're scaring the readers. Fangirls: #attack authoress again# Spacecowqueen: AAAAAHHHHH!)

(Flashbackness)

Kurama managed to cut the rope that Hiei was hanging from, while everyone else hid behind a tree to avoid the fire demon's wrath. Then they watched about a half-hour of Hiei hopping around after Kurama with his katana drawn, for his ankles were still tied together. All the while, Mint kept screaming,

"Don't let him tag you!"

(End Flashbackness)

"By the way, who _did_ put me there?" Hiei asked curiously. Everyone immediately looked at Mint, who was rolling around on the floor with a ball of yarn. Hiei sighed in irritation.

"I should have guessed." He muttered. Kurama stared forlornly into the mirror, sniffling every now and then.

"It took me 16 years to grow this…" He sighed.

"Well, only 16 more years to go, then. Heheh…" Yusuke joked. But he only received a glare from Kurama. (Spacecowqueen: It's just hair for crying out loud! …Hn. Fine. #snaps fingers#) Kurama's hair was suddenly grown back.

"The hell!" Yusuke and Sakura shrieked. Kurama was ignoring them and doing the happy dance around his room. (Fangirls: Yay! Kurama-sama is happy again! Spacecowqueen: Why are you people still here? Fangirls: We dare you to try to make us leave. Spacecowqueen: Alright. #throws grenade into crowd of fangirls# Grenade: BOOM! Spacecowqueen: Bwahahaha…)

"I wish I could do magic like that…" Kuwabara whined, snapping his fingers repeatedly.

"Yeah. Then maybe you could do something about that ugly Elvis hair." Sakura said.

"Hey! It takes hours to style my hair like this!" Kuwabara snapped indignantly.

"Who knew it took so long to make your hair look like crap?" Yusuke said with a shrug.

"Stop ganging up on me!" Kuwabara wailed.

"Shut the hell up!" Hiei barked. Everything/ everyone froze and went dead silent, even the carnivorous Makai plant that was curling a long vine around Yusuke's ankle.

"Hn. That's better." Hiei grunted. Then Yusuke screamed.

"Oh my God! This freaking plant's gonna eat me!" He cried. Kurama's eyes glowed for a second, and the plant retreated to a corner to sulk.

"Because of your weird obsession with man-eating plants, you're gonna come home to find your mom being digested." Yusuke stated, rubbing his neck where a vine was choking him.

"I don't think so. Fred knows she is off limits." Kurama said, sitting down at his desk.

"You named the plant Fred?" Sakura asked with an eyebrow raised. Kuwabara crouched a safe distance away from the plant, poking it with a stick.

"Hey Kurama, isn't this thing from Makai?" He asked. Kurama began to sweat.

"Um, maybe…" He trailed off.

"You hypocrite!" Sakura screeched, pointing at him accusingly.

"W-What?" He stuttered.

"You were preaching about how animals from Makai were illegal! And then you go and keep a killer Makai plant for a pet!" She fumed.

"Well, I got…special permission." Kurama lied.

"Riiight. And I'm a purple spotted rhinoceros that steals waffles." Sakura stated, rolling her eyes. Mint gasped.

"You're the reason why my waffles disappeared at breakfast yesterday!" She yelled. She then pounced on Sakura and started beating her over the head with a paper fan.

"You evil, evil being!" She screamed.

"Get off, Mint! I was being sarcastic!" Sakura shouted. Mint immediately stopped.

"Oh…but where did my waffles go, then?" She wondered out loud.

"You ate them." Sakura stated.

"Oh yeah. Nevermind then!" Mint said, going back to playing with her yarn.

"I'm surrounded by idiots." Hiei muttered.

"Shuichi! Is everything all right up there? I heard a lot of yelling." Shiori called upstairs.

"Yes, mother. Everything's all right." Kurama yelled back.

(At school the next day)

"Pop quiz!" Mr. Iwamoto announced. The class groaned loudly.

"Yay, a pop quiz!" Keiko whispered excitedly to Yusuke.

"You don't get much excitement out of life, do you?" Sakura asked when she heard her. Keiko said nothing and shot her a nasty look.

"Be quiet!" Mr. Iwamoto snapped before passing out the tests. Five minutes later, he looked up from his desk to see Sakura and Yusuke sleeping. He growled and stalked over to them.

"Urameshi! Coolduras!" He barked. They didn't move. So he kicked their desks, which their heads were resting on.

"Wassa big idea, old man?" Yusuke slurred sleepily.

"Why aren't you two taking the quiz!" Mr. Iwamoto demanded. Yusuke shrugged.

"I'm gonna fail anyway, so what's the point in taking it?" He asked. That's typical Yusuke logic.

"I'm finished." Sakura stated.

"Already?" Mr. Iwamoto asked incredulously. Sakura nodded.

"Then I guess you wouldn't mind if I graded it now." He sneered, swiping the paper off the desk. He went up to his desk and began grading it.

"I don't believe it! All of these are correct!" He gasped a few minutes later. Before Sakura could retaliate, they heard a knocking coming from the window. Everyone looked outside to see a strange man with white hair on the back of a cow with really small wings.

"Mint! Sakura!" He shouted, pounding on the window.

"Lester!" Yusuke and Kuwabara shrieked.

"HI LESTER!" Mint screamed, waving like a lunatic and almost smacking the person beside her.

"What the hell are you doing here!" Sakura demanded, going over to the window. Mr. Iwamoto pushed her aside and opened the window.

"Who are you!" He spat. (Everyone's being so mean to Lester…)

"Um… I'm washing the windows." Lester lied, taking a handkerchief out of his pocket and wiping the window with it after spitting on it. Then Puu and Ryo- Ohki flew in the window and glomped Yusuke and Sakura.

"How do you always find me?" Yusuke groaned.

"Get out of my classroom, you psychos!" Mr. Iwamoto roared. Yusuke, Sakura, and Kuwabara ran out of the room, dragging Mint along.

"I'm not a psycho! Why do I have to leave?" She whined. Lester and the space cow flew through the window, knocked over Mr. Iwamoto and a few other things, and followed the spirit detectives down the hallway.

"YUSUKE URAMESHI! GET BACK HERE!" Keiko screamed.

I know, I know. That chapter sucked my mom. And the next one will be worse, I'm just warning you. Like I said, I want at least someone to let me know that someone's reading this. You can tell me how much you hated it if you want. After the next chapter, though, things will either a) get more random or b) better than they are now.


	7. And Thus the Randomness Continues

Yup I'm updating again. And so soon, no less! I just wanted to get through the crappy chapters so that we can get to the good stuff. Well, here's chapter 7.

Disclaimer: I'm currently in the process of stalking Funimation for the rights to Yu Yu Hakusho, but I haven't had much luck so far. I also don't own Lester, Ryo- Ohki, Hatsuharu, or anyone else that isn't Sakura, Mint, or the space cows.

Chapter 7

And Thus the Randomness Continues

"You baka! Why the hell are you here!" Sakura shouted.

"There's trouble at the farm!" Lester said.

"What happened?" Yusuke asked.

"Hop on." Lester said, climbing back onto the space cow.

"Will all of us fit on it?" Kuwabara asked.

"It should be alright. Mint can fly, anyway." Lester replied. Mint was levitating a few feet off the ground with a large grin plastered on her face.

"I can fly!" She screamed, doing somersaults in the air.

"She reminds me of someone…" Yusuke thought out loud.

"Anyway, let's go!"

(At the farm)

When the group landed, there were space cows running all over the place. They had an evil glint in their eyes as they knocked over trees and random buildings.

"What's wrong with 'em?" Kuwabara asked.

"Bwahahaha! Yes, my children! Attack!" They heard a voice cry.

"What th' hell was that!" Kuwabara screeched with a freaked out look on his face.

"It was me! Hahaha!" They looked up to a nearby hill that had a space cow standing on its hind legs, waving its front legs around in the air. The zipper on the costume was in plain view.

"Is that you again, Hatsuharu?" Sakura asked boredly. The "space cow" began to sweat drop.

"No! It is I: The Space Cow King!" He cried.

"You're such a dork…" Sakura muttered, slapping her hand to her forehead. Mint was suddenly in front of the Space Cow King and unzipped him. The costume fell down and a white and black haired boy stood there, looking embarrassed. (Yes, this is Haru from Fruits Basket.)

"Um…" He said nervously.

"HI HARU!" Mint screamed before jumping on him. Mint and Haru disappeared in a puff of blue smoke.

"Did he explode?" Kuwabara asked as they ran to where Mint and Haru were.

"Do you see any blood or bits of a kitty?" Yusuke said.

"No… Wait! How could you say such a thing about a kitty!" Kuwabara wailed at the thought of his precious Eikichi being blown to bits.

"Mooo…" They stopped to see Mint huggling a cow.

"Where'd that guy go?" Yusuke wondered. Lester patted the cow on the head.

"He's right here."

"But that's a cow."

"It's Haru."

"It's true." The cow sighed. Kuwabara screamed.

"Did that cow just talk!" He exclaimed. Then, there was another poof.

"Oh god!" Sakura said, covering her eyes.

"Haru's a streaker!" Mint yelled.

"Where are my clothes?" Haru wondered, looking around.

"That's an interesting condition…" Yusuke commented. So, after Haru finally got dressed and Sakura got over the shock, they went back to the house.

"Why did you take control of my space cows and make them evil?" Lester asked.

"Sorry. The sugar rush got to me." Haru apologized.

"You couldn't have handled him yourself, Lester?" Sakura asked.

"Sorry. I thought he was scary, so I couldn't do anything…" Lester answered, casting his eyes to the ground shamefully.

"Wimp." Yusuke mumbled.

"Well. I guess I should get going. Hatori's gonna give me hell when I get back. See ya." Haru said before leaving.

"I guess you guys can go back to school now." Lester said. Yusuke, Kuwabara, and Sakura looked at him like he was stupid.

"Do you really expect us to go back after getting out early?" Sakura asked.

"Our teacher kicked us out." Kuwabara said.

"I could go for some ice cream right now. Who's with me?" Yusuke asked.

"Me!" Kuwabara and Mint screamed while jumping up and down.

"You don't get sugar." Sakura said to Mint.

"But whyyyyy Saki-chan!" Mint whined.

"You're on a permanent sugar high, anyway." Lester said. Mint stuck her tongue out at them.

"Then it won't matter!" She said before running out the door.

"I guess we're getting ice cream. See ya, Lester." Yusuke sighed.

(At the ice cream place thingy)

Mint happily licked her ice cream cone, which towered well above her head.

"Brain freeze!" Kuwabara shrieked.

"You need a brain in order for it to freeze." Sakura said.

"Meanie…" Kuwabara sniffled while clutching his head in pain. Yusuke was looking around anxiously.

"Something wrong, Yusuke?" Sakura asked.

"Well, Hiei usually flocks to us when we get ice cream. But he's not here." Yusuke explained. He was about to lick his ice cream when he realized it wasn't there. He heard slurping next to him and turned his head.

"What took you so long, Hiei?" He asked sarcastically.

"Hn." Hiei ignored him and continued to inhale the ice cream cone.

"You _do _know that's my ice cream, right?" Yusuke asked.

"Mine now." Hiei grunted before ignoring him again.

"Pssht. I didn't want it anyway…" Yusuke mumbled bitterly.

"HI HIEI!" Mint screamed. Her ice cream cone trembled at the sound if her voice and fell over, landing on Hiei. He twitched in anger and she burst into tears.

"My ice cream!" She wailed. Then an idea hit her. She smiled and licked Hiei's cheek. He froze and stared at her.

"You taste good, Hiei!" She giggled

"Why the hell did you do that!" He yelled. Mint dived behind Sakura for safety.

"I'm sorry! Please don't hurt me!" Mint pleaded. Hiei growled and stomped away, the ice cream on his face melting. Yusuke and Sakura rolled on the ground in laughter.

"Oh my god that was hilarious!" Yusuke choked out.

"Waaahhh! Hiei hates me!" Mint cried.

"Don't worry about it. The midget hates everyone." Kuwabara said, returning to his ice cream.

"But why does he hate me? I'm so lovable!" Mint squealed, hugging herself.

Whatever. I'm ending it there. After this, it's going to be waaaaaaay better. I think so, at least. Poll time! Who else here likes Kuwabara? I don't mean like that. I just want to know if everyone here completely hates him, because I think he's pretty cool. I bet I just lost a lot of readers with that…


	8. Viva la America

Yes I'm back after such a long time. Oh well. On with this chapter.

Disclaimer: I don't own it! Stop calling my house!

Chapter 8

Viva la America

"Alright, everyone, shut up. We're going on a field trip." Mr. Iwamoto announced at school the next day. The class cheered at the thought of getting away from school.

"Shut up!" Mr. Iwamoto barked. The class immediately got quiet, with the exception of Yusuke.

"Awesome! I wonder where we're going? Why are you waving your arms around like that, Kuwabara?" Yusuke rambled. Kuwabara used exasperated hand motions and pointed to the teacher, who had smoke rising out of his ears.

"Something wrong, old man?" Yusuke asked rudely. Mr. Iwamoto tried breathing deeply and walked back to his desk. He popped a pill in his mouth and calmed down.

"How much you wanna bet that's a sedative?" Sakura whispered to Mint. Mr. Iwamoto turned back to the class with an eerily happy smile on his face.

"Weeell… Now that that's settled, we'll be going to America. We leave in a week, so get permission from your parents and money to pay for everything. Class dismissed!" He said.

"But we still have an hour left of school." Keiko piped up.

"Then leave early. Have fun!" Mr. Iwamoto giggled. Everyone was too freaked out to say anything so they left.

(Outside)

Kuwabara sat on a bench in deep thought. That's a first.

"Don't strain yourself." Yusuke joked.

"Ha-ha-ha. I just think it's weird how we keep getting' out of class early." Kuwabara said.

"Why are you complaining?" Sakura asked.

"Yaay! We're going to America! We're going to America!" Mint screamed, doing cartwheels.

"We've gotta go and bug Lester to let us go. Later." Sakura said, dragging Mint down the street.

"Bon voyage!" Mint shouted. Yusuke started walking away.

"Where are you going, Yusuke? Your house is the other way." Keiko asked.

"I gotta go do something. I'll see you guys later." Yusuke said before continuing on his way.

(Kurama's school)

Kurama was sitting at his desk taking a test, when he heard taps on the window next to him. He looked outside and sweatdropped.

"Hey! Shuichi!" Yusuke screamed, chucking rocks at the window.

"…Is that a friend of yours, Minamino?" A classmate asked.

"No! I've never seen him before in my life!" Kurama lied quickly.

"Hey, Shuichi Minamino! It's your friend, Yusuke Urameshi!" They heard.

"…I'll be right back." Kurama sighed, leaving the classroom.

(Outside)

"Oh, hey buddy! What took ya so long?" Yusuke greeted. Kurama said nothing and dragged Yusuke by the front of his shirt to somewhere no one could see them.

"You have 10 seconds to tell me why you're here." Kurama growled.

"I'm sensing anger. Is someone having a bad day?" Yusuke asked. Kurama sighed and massaged his forehead.

"I got jumped by my fan club today."

(Flashback to that morning)

Kurama was just walking to school, minding his own business, when he felt like he was being followed. He turned around to find his fan club staring him down.

"HI SHUICHI!" One fangirl, who shall now be called Ashley, screamed.

"Hello…" Kurama said awkwardly, slowly backing away in fear.

"He's escaping! Get him!" Another fangirl, who shall be named Adriana, shouted. Kurama screamed and ran away.

"I love it when he plays hard to get!" Ashley giggled.

(With Kurama)

'Gotta find a place to hide! Gotta find a place to hide!' Kurama thought frantically. He stopped in the middle of the hallway and thought for a minute.

"…The bathroom! They can't go in there!" He said, running into the nearest bathroom.

(With the fangirls)

"Where is he!" Ashley whined.

"…My otaku sense is tingling." Adriana stated, pointing at the boy's bathroom.

"So… Who's going in?" Random fangirl #1 asked.

"Ew! I'm not!" Random fangirl #2 squealed.

"Since we are the presidents, we will go in!" Ashley declared, grabbing Adriana.

"Waaaaaah! I don't wanna! I'm too young for this! IT BURNS!" Adriana screamed.

"I haven't opened the door yet." Ashley sighed.

"Oh. Okie dokie." Adriana said, getting dragged into the bathroom.

(In the bathroom)

Ashley kicked all the stalls open while Adriana hid in the corner covering her eyes. Ashley cam to the last stall and grinned triumphantly.

"At last! I have found you, Shuichi!" She shouted, kicking the door in. She gasped when no one was in there.

"Where the hell is he!" She cried. Kurama, who was up in the venthilation system by that point, grinned and started crawling.

"Kurama, you are a genius!" He whispered to himself. Then, he felt the tunnel floor creak.

"Uh oh." He squeaked.

(With the other fangirls)

"How long are they gonna be in there?" Random fangirl #2 complained loudly. They heard a loud crash behind them and turned to see Kurama fall through the ceiling.

"SHUICHI!" They cried.

"Darn it!" Kurama yelped. He got up to run, but his gracefulness failed him and he tripped, getting glomped by the mass of fangirls that showed up out of nowhere.

(End rediculously long flashback)

Yusuke rolled on the ground in laughter, tears running down his face. Kurama twitched and hit him over the head. Yusuke glared.

"Hey, it's not _my _fault you're being stalked. I actually kinda envy you." Yusuke mumbled the last sectence to himself.

"You still haven't told me why you graced us with your presence." Kurama said.

"Us?" Yusuke asked in confusion. Kurama pointed over his own shoulder at the tree behind him. Yusuke could see two heads pop back behind the tree.

(Behind the tree)

"I told you we shouldn't have worn the squeaky shoes!" Ashley whispered. Adriana nodded in agreement.

(Back with Yusuke and Kurama)

"Well, we're going on a field trip to America, and we wanted you to come with us." Yusuke explained.

"You want me to what?" Kurama asked. Yusuke sighed.

"I SAID, WE'RE GOING ON A FIELD TRIP TO AMERICA, AND WE WANTED YOU TO COME WITH US!" Yusuke shouted. Kurama rubbed his throbbing ears.

"I heard you the first time." Kurama stated.

"Oh. Sorry." Yusuke apologized sheepishly.

"Well, I can't go. It's only for your school, right?" Kurama said.

"So? You could pretend to be a chaperone or something." Yusuke said.

"I don't know…" Kurama said.

"I know a certain girl that would be really disappointed if you didn't go." Yusuke said with a grin.

"Who?"

"Someone. So whaddaya say?"

"Well, alright."

(Next week)

"Time to go cause some mischief!" Yusuke cheered on the day of their field trip. Keiko hit the back of his head.

"No. You're going to behave." She stated. Then Kurama and Hiei walked up.

"HI HIEI!" Mint screamed, jumping on Hiei. He twitched but didn't say anything.

"Wow, you even got Hiei to join the fun." Yusuke said to Kurama.

"Get your butts moving!" Mr. Iwamoto shouted at them. They all started filing onto the bus, when Mr. Iwamoto stopped Kurama and Hiei.

"Who're you?" He demanded.

"They're new students. Excuse us!" Sakura lied, pushing Kurama and Hiei onto the bus.

"Why'd the shrimp come?" Kuwabara complained when they all got seated.

"If I had a say in this, I wouldn't be here." Hiei grunted.

"Now, now you guys. This is supposed to be fun." Keiko said.

"It sucks." Kuwabara and Hiei said at the same time.

"Hey Yusuke. I'm curious. How did you afford this?" Sakura asked.

"It was kinda creepy." Yusuke said.

(Flashback)

"Hey ma. We're going on this field trip to America, and I need some money." Yusuke said.

"Well why didn't you say so?" Atsuko said, dropping a thick wad of yen on the table. Yusuke's eyes bugged out of his head.

"Holy cheese, ma! Where did this come from!" He asked. Atsuko just grinned.

(End flashback)

"I think my mom's in the mafia." Yusuke said, completely serious. Sakura sweatdropped.

Scary, huh? Well the gang's on their way to America. But are things going to go as planned? Of course not! Stay tuned for chapter nine!


	9. Screw Up

Ooooh I am so mad! I had this whole thing typed up and on a disc, and then when I went to upload it, I found out it got funked up! So now I have to re-type the whole damn thing! DAH! (takes deep breath) Anyway, I'm almost to the double digits! Just a warning, Hiei's going to be experiencing some mild OOCness in this and the chapters to come.

Disclaimer: Can't think of anything creative. I don't own it.

Chapter 9

Screw Up

"The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round, 'round and 'round, 'round and 'round! The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round, all through the town!" Mint sang loudly. Hiei, who had stuffed earplugs in his ears and gone to sleep, drooled on her shoulder. Yusuke and Kuwabara were playing Old Maid, Kurama read a book, and Sakura and Keiko talked.

"Will someone shut her up?" Yusuke asked in annoyance, taking a card from Kuwabara and then swearing. Sakura took a catnip mouse out of her pocket and threw it over her shoulder and it landed in Mint's lap. Mint immediately snatched it up and purred while stroking it lovingly.

"That'll keep her quiet for a few hours." Sakura stated.

(At the airport)

"Okay, I don't need to get sued, so everyone stay together!" Mr. Iwamoto snapped before getting off the bus. Mint stood up, still clutching her mouse, and Hiei fell over still asleep.

"Is he dead?" Sakura asked, poking him. Yusuke grinned mischievously.

"Kuwabara's kissing Yukina!" He screamed. Hiei immediately snapped awake and attacked Kuwabara.

"Aaaahhhh!" Kuwabara cried, running off the bus with Hiei in pursuit.

"I have the feeling that Kuwabara's not going to live long enough to see America." Kurama commented.

(Inside the airport)

"Ooh! Look at that! What does that do! Gee, you're tall, mister! Want some cheese!" Mint screamed at a random person behind a counter. Mr. Iwamoto dragged her away.

"Stop being retarded!" He ordered before walking away. Mint burst into tears.

"Waaaahhhh! Saki-chan, he's being mean!" She wailed.

"You should have kicked his ass." Yusuke, Hiei, Sakura, and Kuwabara said.

"Stop being bad influences!" Keiko scolded.

"Everyone's leaving." Kurama pointed out. Just then, a cart carrying cat carriers (that's a mouthful!) passed by.

"Those poor kitties! I will save you!" Mint cried, running after them while dragging Hiei along.

"Why am I coming!" He asked.

"To help me liberate them!" Mint replied.

"Mint! Our plane's getting ready to leave!" Yusuke called after them. Mint and Hiei disappeared into the crowd.

"Dammit! Now we have to go find them!" Sakura complained. They ran after them, ignoring the objections from Keiko.

"We'll miss our plane!"

"Stop talking! You're creating wind drag!" They dived out of the way so they wouldn't get run over by the stampede of kitty cats.

"Ugh…Mint…" Sakura groaned, knowing her cat friend was responsible. Kuwabara squealed and attempted to pet the kitties as they ran past. Then they spotted Mint running toward them on all fours, giggling like an idiot. Hiei ran along beside her, trying to shake off the kitties that were hanging onto him. Yusuke and Kurama grabbed Mint and Hiei as they ran by.

"Mint, why did you do that?" Kurama asked once the stampede had passed. Kuwabara sat in a corner and sniffled because he missed the kitties.

"They were being mistreated! …Wow! Big word! Cookie please!" Mint exclaimed, holding her hand out expectantly.

"The plane destined for America is now departing." A voice announced over the speaker.

"Cool!" Mint squealed, trying to wrestle the microphone from the announcer guy.

"I wanna talk in it!" She screamed. Sakura dragged her away from the confused announcer guy.

"We've gotta get on the plane!" She said.

"What's a plane?" Hiei asked, realizing that he didn't know what a plane was.

"That." Kurama answered, pointing at a huge metal bird outside. Hiei's eyes widened.

"I'm not getting on that." He declared stubbornly.

"Yes you are." Yusuke said.

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are!"

"No I'm not!

"YES YOU ARE!"

"NO I'M NOT!"

"…Fine."

"Wha?" Yusuke grabbed a pillowcase off a cart that passed by and put it over Hiei.

"Hey! Lemme out of here!" He yelled.

"C'mon!" Yusuke said, slinging the pillowcase over his shoulder and running into a nearby gate, thinking it was the one to their plane. Unfortunately, everyone else thought so to, so no one noticed the sign above it said Mexico…

(On the (wrong) plane)

"Phew! We made it!" Yusuke groaned in relief, slumping into an empty seat.

He dropped Hiei in the middle of the aisle.

"I'm going to kill you!" He shouted, pointing at Yusuke. He tried to storm away, but his foot got caught in the pillowcase and he fell over. Yusuke and Kuwabara burst into laughter.

"It's not funny!" Hiei yelled indignantly. That of course caused them to laugh harder. He was about to say something when the plane began to shake.

"Yay!" Mint squealed. She grabbed the frightened Hiei and pulled him into the seat beside her.

"Take off is always the best!" She said, pressing her face against the window.

"What's going on!" Hiei asked, trying frantically to clip his seat belt.

"Wait and find out!" Mint replied. The plane moved across the runway and lifted off the ground.

"Look out the window, Hiei!" Mint said. Hiei leaned over her and looked outside. They were pretty high up already.

"Hmm…I wonder what would happen if someone were to fall from this height…" He mumbled. Then, he got an idea and looked at Kuwabara with an evil grin that could rival the Grinch's. Mint smacked him on the back of the head.

"Nuh uh." She said. Hiei pouted. Kurama, who couldn't feel his hand anymore, turned to Sakura, who had his hand in a death grip.

"Something wrong?" He asked. Sakura gulped.

"I. Hate. Heights." She said through clenched teeth.

"Try to relax." Kurama said.

"I. Am. Relaxed." Sakura said. Kurama sighed.

"Hey Yusuke. There's something weird about this plane." Keiko stated.

"Really? What do you mean?" Yusuke asked.

"Well, there's no sign of our class and everyone's wearing sombreros and ponchos…" Keiko answered.

"Hey, you're right." Yusuke agreed. Kurama heard the conversation and asked a nearby stewardess, in Spanish, what plane they were on. She answered, in Spanish, and walked away.

"Hey, why are you guys speakin' Mexican?" Kuwabara asked stupidly.

"It was Spanish, not Mexican. And she said we're going to Mexico."

"……Holy crap!"

(On the right plane)

'Where are the idiots? Oh well. They're someone else's problem now.' Mr. Iwamoto thought happily.

(On the Mexican plane)

"Well… This might not be so bad." Yusuke said. Keiko sat beside him hyperventilating.

"You mean besides the fact that all our crap is on the other plane?" Kuwabara said bitterly.

"Well, it's not like we can turn around now. Perhaps when we land we'll think of something… Yusuke, Keiko's turning blue." Kurama pointed out.

"Breathe, Keiko!" Yusuke said, shaking her. Keiko snapped out of it and slapped Yusuke.

"She's back to normal." Kuwabara commented.

(Later, somewhere over the Pacific Ocean)

"Passengers, please fasten your seat belts. We are now entering a storm cloud. There's nothing to worry about except for some minor turbulence." The pilot announced, in Spanish though.

"What did he say?" Yusuke asked Kurama.

"He said we're entering a storm cloud." Kurama said.

"Storm!" Sakura started freaking out. Kurama patted her on the back.

"Calm down. He said there's nothing to worry about. Everything's going to be fine." He said.

"Let me take that back. EVERYONE PANIC!" The pilot screamed.

"I don't know what he said, but it sounded bad!" Sakura wailed, attaching herself to Kurama's arm. He sweatdropped. The plane started wobbling and descending rapidly.

"What the hell's going on!" Yusuke shouted so he could be heard over the screaming Mexicans.

"We're gonna die!" Kuwabara shrieked. The plane started a nosedive toward the ocean.

"Keiko, I have a confession to make." Yusuke said, taking Keiko's hands in his.

"Yes?" Keiko gasped.

"I…I'm the one who put that lizard down your dress last week."

"…YUSUKE YOU IDIOT!" Then they made contact with the water.

Bwahaha! Cliffhanger! But poor Keiko, huh? Stay tuned if you guys want to find out if they live or not. (insert evil laughter) And some reviews might make the next chapter come out faster (hint hint). And if you like Dragonball Z, check out Containing Thy Self by Malik Fan 03. And you can leave a review for it while you're at it.


	10. Mexican Cruises Are Fun

Holy crap it's been a long time since I updated. I guess someone should have sent me some death threats to get it done, or something. Though it seems kind of pointless now that summer's just about over. I'll stop stalling and get right into the story, then. Oh, and the random stuff with the fangirls is by my friend Kaze Tsukai.

Disclaimer: All I own are Mint and Sakura.

Chapter 10

Mexican Cruises Are Fun

" 'There's nothing to worry about.' 'Everything's going to be fine.'" Sakura mocked sarcastically, hanging onto Kurama's back. Kurama sighed.

"Okay, so I was wrong. Do you have to keep pestering me about it?" He asked.

"Yes. Yes I do." Sakura answered. A few feet away, Keiko was trying to dunk Yusuke.

"You jerk! Why did you do that?" She screamed.

"It was just a lizard!" The confused Yusuke screamed back, thinking this was all about the lizard. Hey, it couldn't have been very pleasant for the lizard either. Mint and Kuwabara laughed at Yusuke's situation. Hiei and Mint were hanging onto Kuwabara's back because neither of them could swim. Sakura looked around at their little group of misfits, then at the Mexicans.

"Now what?" She wondered out loud.

"Float around until we either drown or find land." Hiei huffed.

"Why are you so grumpy?" Kuwabara asked.

"Because I'm latched to the back of an idiot, in the middle of the ocean, with a bunch of people that don't speak our language!" Hiei shouted. The Mexicans around them started freaking out and swimming away.

"What's with them?" Yusuke asked. The waves around them got higher and they heard a loud noise. They turned around to see a huge cruise ship sailing toward them.

Dun dun duuun!

Yusuke, Kuwabara, and Kurama screamed and swam away from the boat with Keiko, Mint, Hiei, and Sakura on their backs. The boat came to a stop slowly. When they realized it wasn't going to run them over, they stopped also. The boat was big and fancy looking. A man, probably the captain, leaned over the bow and talked through a mega phone. The Mexicans in the water around them started cheering.

"What are they so excited about?" Kuwabara asked.

"Either he's going to let us see his goat, or he's letting us stay on the boat." Kurama said. Everyone stared stupidly at him.

"…What?"

(On the ship)

The captain gave everyone rooms and stuff and they had the free run of the ship. Mint bounced up and down on the bed.

"Bouncy, bouncy, bouncy!" She squealed.

"It seems fortune has smiled upon us." Kurama said.

"Huh?" Kuwabara asked stupidly.

"He means we got lucky." Sakura sighed.

"I need a translator or somethin' whenever I'm around you." Kuwabara said to Kurama.

"No, you just need to get smarter." Hiei, Yusuke, and Sakura said. Kuwabara glared at them. Then Keiko pumped her fist into the air and Yusuke flinched.

"I have an idea! I saw a pool when we first got on. We should go swimming!" She suggested excitedly.

"We don't have any bathing suits." Sakura pointed out. Keiko grinned and pulled a drawer out. In it were several different bathing suits.

"What? It's only been 10 minutes and you already know the layout of the drawers?" Sakura asked. Keiko continued to grin. She picked out bathing suits and threw them at everyone.

"Go change!" She commanded.

"I can't swim." Hiei and Mint said simultaneously.

"Learn." Keiko replied, shoving the boys out the door so they could change.

(Outside the room)

The door slammed and the guys stood there in a daze for a while.

"Why am I listening to her? She's _your _woman, detective, not mine." Hiei said after they got back to their room. Yusuke blushed.

"She is not!" He shouted. Kurama chuckled.

"That only confirms it." He said.

"What about you and Sakura?" Yusuke teased.

"What about us?" Kurama asked.

"You know what I mean…" Yusuke said with a perverted grin. Kurama narrowed his eyes.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." He said, ending the conversation. Kuwabara was looking depressed.

"What's wrong with you?" Yusuke asked, not sounding concerned at all.

"I miss Yukina!" Kuwabara wailed. Hiei twitched but didn't say anything (he twitches a lot. Maybe he should get that checked out.).

(Five minutes later)

"Hurry up!" Yusuke shouted, banging his fist on the door. The door swung open and Sakura hit him over the head.

"Keep your shorts on!" She said.

"Aww! But I wanted to go skinny dipping!" Yusuke whined, which earned him another punch.

"Are you girls ready?" Kurama asked.

"Yup!" Mint chirped, jumping onto Hiei's back.

"What do you think you're doing?" Hiei growled, twitching a lot.

"I want a piggy back ride!" Mint shouted.

"No." Hiei said flatly. Mint's eyes started to fill up with tears.

"But… But…" She pouted.

"No!" He said stubbornly. Mint gave him the kitty cat eyes (since she can't do puppy dog eyes for obvious reasons) and pouted more. Hiei thought for a minute before walking away while grumbling, with Mint still on his back.

"Don't get used to this!" He snapped. Mint smiled.

"Okay." She said.

"You don't see that everyday." Yusuke commented.

(At the pool)

"I don't wanna get in!" Mint screamed.

"You're going to have to learn sometime!" Sakura said, trying to drag Mint to the pool's edge.

"Teach Hiei!" Mint screamed, pointing at Hiei, who was lying on a lounge chair.

"Touch me and die." He said, not opening his eyes (which were hidden behind a nifty pair of black sunglasses).

"See? He's threatening me. I might end up drowning before he does." Sakura said.

"Indeed." Hiei stated. Mint, who had let her guard down, stood close to the pool's edge. Sakura grinned mischievously and shoved her into the water.

"Aaahhh! I'm melting!" She shrieked. She grabbed onto Kurama, who was close by.

"You're not going to melt." Kurama assured her.

"Oh my God! Mint, where's your hand?" Yusuke yelled. Mint screamed and tried to swim to the side of the pool. But all she succeeded in doing was splashing around aimlessly, nearly drowning herself in the process. Yusuke laughed his butt off, until Kuwabara dunked him.

"I don't wanna melt!" Mint cried, once again clinging to Kurama. Sakura tiptoed over to Hiei and flipped his chair, dumping him into the pool. He woke up with a startled cry and sunk like a lead weight. A few seconds passed, but he didn't come up. Yusuke dived under and brought him back up. When he surfaced, Hiei glared harshly at Kuwabara and tried to swim over to him so he could strangle him. Yusuke held onto the back of Hiei's swimming trunks, preventing him from going anywhere.

"I didn't do anything!" Kuwabara shouted angrily.

"Like hell you didn't! You tried to drown me!" Hiei shouted back, wagging an accusing finger at him. Sakura was laughing hysterically by the edge of the pool. Kurama smirked and grabbed her ankle, dragging her in.

(Behind the random fence that popped up suddenly)

The crazed fangirls who stowed away in the cargo hold of the airplane peeped through the fence.

"She's trying to kill Shuichi!" Adriana fervently whispered.

"I'll save you, Shuichi-sama!" Ashley cried, standing up.

"Sleep!" Cried the lone Jin fangirl (Bri) as she shot Ashley in the butt with a tranquilizer dart.

"Right after my nap." Adriana caught Ashley as she fell, then dropped her.

"You killed her!" She stated in disbelief.

"Uh huh." Bri said as she tranquilized the second fangirl.

"Apples taste appely."

"Bwahahaha!"

(The pool)

All the drowning people on the other side of the fence turned to find the source of the maniacal laughter.

(Back on the other side of the fence)

"Eep!" Bri squeaked and scurried up a tree (it's a BIG ship).

(The pool)

Yusuke scaled the fence to look over in the bushes and spotted the two stow away fangirls.

"Kurama, they're friends of yours!" He called out.

"Don't let them find me!" Kurama cried as he hid behind Hiei, which of course was not a good place to hide considering the height difference.

"No, it's okay. They're knocked out." Yusuke said, jumping back down.

"Should we really leave them there?" Sakura asked.

"Pinata! Ole!" Mint shrieked. Sakura turned to Kurama.

"If they annoy you that much we could let Mint take care of them." She said.

"I saw a large metal tree to string them up on." Mint confided in them.

"Maybe we'll just leave them there." Kurama decided much to Mint's dismay

(In the tree)

"Heheheheh. I have exposed the horrors of the Kurama cult…" Bri whispered to herself. Then there was an ominous crack.

"What the…AHHH!"

(At the pool)

:SPLASH:

"What was that?" They turned to see a half-drowned fangirl floating on a tree branch. She looked at them, climbed out of the pool, and ran away.

"Well that was random." Sakura commented.

"Indeed." (Didn't I tell you it would be random?) Mint and Hiei finally managed to swim to the side and collapsed on the edge of the pool.

"We're safe…" They sighed.

"This is boring! …Hey, let's play chicken fight!" Yusuke shouted enthusiastically.

"Play what?" Hiei asked from the side, clinging to it for dear life.

"Well, someone sits on someone else's shoulders and tries to push someone else off someone else's shoulders. Get it?" Yusuke explained.

"What?" Hiei asked, not understanding a word he said. He tried in vain to climb out, but he was too short.

"Like this." Yusuke said. He swam under Keiko and came up with her on his shoulders.

"No." Hiei said flatly.

"Ooh ooh fun! I wanna play!" Mint said, jumping on Hiei's shoulders.

"…"

"Where's Hiei?"

"He can't touch the bottom." (authoress: whoops :snaps fingers:) Hiei's head suddenly appeared above the water.

"Wow I grew."

"Yay chicken!" Mint leaped off of Hiei's shoulders and onto Sakura's, who was on Kurama's shoulders. Kurama, unable to hold them both, toppled over. Mint leaped back onto Hiei's shoulders.

"Yay I win!"

"You have to stay on his shoulders when you knock everyone else off." Sakura fumed.

"But that's no fuuuun!" Mint whined.

"I don't care!" Sakura said, climbing back onto Kurama's shoulders. Mint stuck her tongue out at her.

"I wanna play!" Kuwabara wailed. He spotted a little old lady nearby.

"Do you wanna be my partner?" He asked her.

"Oh, yes. The water looks very nice!" She said.

"Cool!" He exclaimed. He picked her up and put her on his shoulders.

"Let's kick those whippersnappers' butts!" The old lady shouted, swinging her cane around.

"You're all goin' down!" Kuwabara laughed along with the old lady. But their ego trip was cut short when Sakura and Kurama knocked them down. The old lady started beating Kuwabara over the head with her cane and cussing at him in Spanish. Mint once again had her handy dandy translator.

"You're out!" Sakura grinned.

"Ow! No fair!" Kuwabara shrieked. He set the old lady back down on the side of the pool. She then threw her empty Tequila glass at his head and fumed off.

"Grouch…" He muttered.

"So, who's gonna be our next victim?" Sakura mused. She was cut off, however, when Keiko shoved her.

"Booya!" Yusuke cheered. Then Keiko and Mint got in a hand lock thing, and tried to push each other off their partners' shoulders.

"Give up Hiei. You're gonna lose." Yusuke taunted. Hiei only smirked and kicked Yusuke's legs from underneath him. Yusuke and Keiko lost their balance and flailed their arms around, trying to stay upright. Mint created a light breeze, which caused them to fall over.

"Oh yeah! We're cool!" Mint shouted victoriously.

"Indeed."

"Careful Mint. Your ego is showing." Kurama said. Mint covered herself with her arms.

"Aaah! Where!" She screamed.

"Let's get out now. I'm all pruney." Keiko suggested, climbing out of the pool.

"That sounds like a good idea." Sakura agreed, climbing out also. Everyone else got out, with the exception of Mint, who was doing laps around the pool.

"Come on, Mint. We're all going back inside." Yusuke said.

"But I don't wanna! Swimming is fun!" She whined. When she was in the process of swimming past them, Sakura plucked her out of the water.

"There's nothing worse than a wet cat." She said, plopping Mint on the ground.

"I thought there was nothing worse than a wet dog?" Kuwabara asked.

"You obviously haven't seen Mint when she's wet." Sakura commented. On her cue, Mint got down on all fours and shook, sending water on everyone. When she was finished, her hair and the fur on her tail frizzed out.

"I feel better."

(Meanwhile)

Both tranquilized fan girls slowly came to and saw the gang leaving the pool. Ashley peeked through a crack in the fence. She spotted Kurama, who had wrapped a towel around his waist.

"Shuichi's in a towel!" Ashley whispered.

"Where?" Adriana cried. Ashley clamped a hand over her mouth.

"Ssh!"

"Sorry."

"Okay. Here's the plan." Ashley whispered in Adriana's ear.

"Oh dear."

(Back with the gang)

"So what does he eat?" Yusuke asked Kurama.

"Well, man eating plants really have a sweet tooth for mice. They're better than a cat for rodent control." Kurama was cut off as two fan girls came running through the pool deck crying 'Freedom.'. One ran up to Kurama and ripped off the towel that was tied around his waist to reveal his swimming trunks. The one who ripped off his towel snapped her fingers.

"Darn." The second fan girl, who had her eyes closed the whole time, drug the other one away. The first one yelled back at Kurama.

"I'll be back!"

"Like I was saying, Fred really likes to munch on mice, but if I weren't so nice, I'd feed my fan club to him." Off in the distance they heard a cry from where the fan girls had run off to.

"Die!"

"What was that?" Yusuke asked in alarm.

"Crowd control." Kurama replied straight-faced.

"Death to the Kurama cult. Ooh a buffet."

"Your crowd control is really loud." Sakura commented.

"I wanna meet her!" Mint screamed.

"That's all we need is another head ache."

Did she say something about a buffet?" Hiei inquired. He ran off to search for said buffet.

(At the buffet)

"I want that! And that! And that! Ooooh! What's that? Aaaaah! It's looking at me!" Mint screamed, pointing at almost everything on the table.

"That's a crab, Mint." Sakura stated, piling everything Mint pointed to on plates.

"Fish!" Mint cried, pouncing on a plate of fish.

"Mint! Get off the table!" Sakura shouted. Mint turned to Sakura with a fish hanging out of her mouth. The she slowly got down, but not before about 5 more fish. Sakura herded her over to the table where everyone else was sitting, while attempting to balance all 10 plates of food.

"Jeez! You hungry?" Kuwabara asked.

"No. This is for Mint. Woah!" Sakura tripped over a snag in the carpet, but was able to keep everything balanced.

"If I die, Mint, I'm gonna haunt you!" She said.

"Sakura, watch out!" Kurama warned.

"What? …Oh God!" Sakura ran into their table and everything fell over …right on Hiei.

"It's like I'm cursed!" He groaned.

"Waaaahhh! My food!" Mint cried. She then got a thoughtful look on her face and then grinned at Hiei.

"No! Go away!" He shouted, running out of the room.

"Wait, Hiei!" Mint shrieked, running after him on all fours. Yusuke, who was laughing his butt off, felt a tap on his shoulder. He looked up to find an extremely pissed off chef.

"Uh… yo." He greeted. The chef started yelling in three different languages, waving his ladle around. Needless to say, the gang (minus Mint and Hiei) spent the rest of the day cleaning the buffet room.


End file.
